Sunday, April 19, 2015

Starting a New Journey

For the last 5 years I've been the primary (and sometimes sole) income in our family. I got a new job in the city after my daughter was born and spent an excruciating year pumping in an office filled with almost only single, childless males who were confused by me at best and disdainful of me at worst.

There were no other mothers there and I was suffering from post partum depression. I was being treated, but with a new job, two moves, a new daughter, and an unemployed stay-at-home husband, it was painful. I decided I would never have another child. It was too hard. But this is a story for another day.

After a year, my company was acquired and I had to stay for 3 more years or forfeit lots of money. So I stayed, vowing to ask to go part time or quit as soon as the three years ended.

My daughter grew and I spent nearly every day wishing and praying for a way to be home with her. I felt like I was missing her life. I only had 2 hours with her a day at best. And she was amazing and beautiful!

And then I changed my mind and decided to have another. But with the condition I would only go part time or quit after they were born. I couldn't do it again. I couldn't leave 2 kids behind and miss both their lives.

And he was born in December and here we are. I quit my job and my stay-at-home husband is now working full time. I get to see my babies grow up!