It's been one week. I can't wait to see if I change my mind and how.
In some ways it hasn't sunk in. I feel like I'm still out on leave or on a brief hiatus. I don't feel like I have endless time stretching out before me. Maybe it never feels like that. Maybe if I lived in the 1950s and I was expecting to never work it would feel that way. But for now it feels like I have a deadline--through December when my baby turns one. Then maybe part time work and eventually back to full time someday. Not sure when I'll return to work, but I definitely view this as temporary.
And it is way easier than my incredibly demanding Silicon Valley job. Maybe the stakes are higher. I can quit a job and start fresh at a new one, but my kids and their outcomes--I only get one chance. So in that way it's very important. But the day to day so far has been much easier and much, much more fun and fullfilling.
Even adding housework it's not that bad. It's certainly not a serious addition to the workload. In fact, it's much more manageable because now I have time to do it properly--to clean all the things I know I need to but haven't had time to. And even with self-imposed pressure, it's nothing compared to the constant on top of your game pressure I felt at my job. I had to work so hard, while missing my kid, and then come home and clean the house and cook dinner. Now I can do all that without the pressure and extra 60 hours out of my week! What a relief! What a lifestyle change!
The strangest thing seems to be the role reversal. Now that DH is going to work, he's asking me for coffee or to make him a sandwich. And I can! Before I was like, "ha! That's funny. You can do it yourself." But since my "job" is now taking care of my family, I do it and I like it. But it's still weird.
I love this new "job" and am so SO thankful I can do it. We gave up pretty much everything just so I can have this privilege. And I'm enjoying every second and don't want to miss a thing.