Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I hate awkward moments...

Awkward moments suck. Seems like many things in my life are awkward right now.

California is awkward - it's beautiful and I want to run and jump and play, but also explore and try new things indoors and, of course, that pesky job just takes up so much of my time!

My job is awkward - I'm thankful for what I have but I want to do something I enjoy more.

My interests are awkward - There isn't enough time and money to pursue them all.

Sometimes my friendships and relationships are awkward - It would take too much time to go deeply into this one... When I feel it, I try to pretend they aren't. Hopefully I fake it well. I've definitely felt more awkward since I moved to CA. I don't know whether it's cultural differences, the stress of a new environment, the lack of a support system, or other confusing situations.

Be warned, those of you who move here! California has some great perks, but something about this place brings out the loneliness, isolation, and brokenness in a lot of people, too. Or, maybe it's got something to do with so many people in one, urban place. Or maybe, that's just life? It's weird being a grown-up.

The land of promise seems to always hold more promise than you can gain in one lifetime.