Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Back on Track

In grad school I read studies that claimed that marital satisfaction decreases the first year after a baby is born.

I wondered if that would be true for me. I remember crying six weeks after Double was born just thinking about the idea of sex.

A few weeks later those feelings were gone. But then the PPD kicked in and I can only imagine what the studies say about marital satisfaction when you have a mentally ill spouse!

Over the last 2 years DH and I have both laughed and yelled and talked calmly and argued. We have had hard times and good times. He has been more incredible than I could have ever imagined any person being. But it was still very stressful. Due to my illness and the task of adjusting to a new baby and moving and a new job and, well, ALL the changes in our lives, it has often felt to me like we were just trying to survive.

In the last few months, though, things have changed a lot. I don't know what the catalyst was, but we have been laughing more and enjoying each other. We enjoy our daughter and our time together. Life has finally found a rhythm we are used to and comfortable with. Life feels like it used to, but even better with Double.

It's nice to be back in that place and feel human again. It's one of those things that you don't realize was a problem until it gets better and I'm do glad it did!