Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Ignoring Me, Part 2

I sat in a Bible study for moms. One mom, my good friend, was sharing.

"He would take the remote and turn the volume up while she was talking," Mary* said. She was in tears, remembering the moment when her mom tried to speak to her dad and he would ignore her.

I sat there, a bit stunned. She was describing my life. At home, I would sit on the couch talking. The volume on the TV would go up. The kids would ask a question. The volume would go up.

"Did you hear me?" I'd ask. Sometimes the answer was yes. Sometimes it was spiteful. And often the volume went up. Maybe that's a long-term relationship. But I don't think it's ok.

I sat in the Bible study, concerned. Because this could be my daughter in 20 years. My daughter has seen this behavior over and over. Her mother being treated poorly by her father. Her father making fun of her mother. Her father insulting her mother and blaming her and her mother for problems.

I don't want my daughter to sit in a Bible study in 20 years and recall in tears how poorly she and her mother were treated. I want her to remember kindness and love in her life.

You spilled water? That's ok. It happens. Let's learn how to clean it up properly.

Someone is talking. Let's listen and hear what they have to say. Treat them with respect and kindness. As we want to be treated.

Yes, we will make mistakes. But constant mistreatment--I don't want that for my daughter. I don't want her to think this is what love looks like or that it's ok. I want better for her.

*The name is changed.