2016 Can Go To Hell

...that's what a friend of mine posted recently on Facebook.

And I agree.

2016 was a F***ed up year for me and for lots of people. It feels like dark days. The election was a disaster. Just that alone would mess it up for many. But the political unrest, the disconnection between parts of our country, multiple groups of people being displaced and feeling unheard.

And then the Oakland fire. Why? WHY!?

A daughter at my teacher's school was killed in that fire. She was 30. So, yes, it affects me directly. But not just in this way.

The fire represents a giant tragic blow to my city and the artist community that makes Oakland amazing. There are warehouses like this all over the city. Artists live and work in them and create the beautiful, creative tapestry that makes my community so fun to live in!

Most of us who live here have been to one of these warehouses/collectives at some point. This could have been any of us. And we are worried about our artists, about their ability to continue to thrive here in the housing crisis, which is ruining my own personal life in ways I won't go on about here.

I feel sad. Abuse. Pain. Heartbreak. Separation. Divorce. Sadness. Confusion. Compounded Sadness. Sickness. Poverty. I hope 2017 is better.

I need to look to God in all this. But right now, I want to be thankful that I have my children. However hard it is to have them, I'm thankful for them. And I love them dearly. I'm thankful that I have family. I'm thankful that I have housing, however hard it is to keep it. I'm thankful for my job. I'm thankful for the friends and support I've found through some of the hardest things I've ever gone through in my entire life. I'm thankful for my church and my God. Because he's been there through all this. He will always be here through all. No matter how f***ed up things get, he's in charge and he can make it better.

In the meantime, though, dark days.